Perfect

Today was the first day back at work for me. Considering I'm still recovering from surgery, I'm absolutely exhausted.

However, one of my New Year's Resolutions (and the only one I plan on NEVER breaking) was to blog 366 days this year. So, since I don't have a lot of energy or brain juice left (and haven't quite gotten the time to schedule blog posts), I will make it short and sweet.

Priorities change. What was important to me 20 years ago is no longer important. What mattered then, doesn't matter now. My priorities now are different than my priorities then. Does it mean that my priorities then are less important than my priorities now? Absolutely not. Priorities change just as people change. I think a lot of this has to do with the fact that we get older and we get wiser. Wisdom comes with age; it cannot be taught. I've said it before: I am much more comfortable with who I am as a 35 year old woman than I was as a 20 year old woman. I'm not any healthier (in fact, I'm less healthy). I'm not any richer (at least where material possessions are concerned).

I'm just in a better place.

Do you want to see my better place?

It's the simple things

The one person who knows me better than myself (scary!)

Until next time...



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Old Souls

Mkay, so it's been awhile since I've posted. But I was recently assured by Little Brother that there are actually people in cyberland who read me! In fact, when I logged on today, I noticed I had gained 15 more readers! How exciting!

Today, I added a cryptic status update on Facebook:

Somebody called {The Man Beast} and I old souls. I've recently grown to accept the fact. It's terribly alienating, though.

 As a Christian, I certainly don't believe in a reincarnated soul - a classic definition of the term commonly found in any search engine. However, there is an undeniable characteristic that is shared by the Man Beast and myself. In fact, as she gets older, I even recognize the same characteristics in Baby Girl.

The Man Beast and I have been called The Old Married Couple. In fact we feel like an old married couple. A lot of this has to do with the fact that despite getting married at a very early age, there were certain attitudes we brought into our marriage - one of them being that divorce wasn't an option. It's funny when you take out this simple part of a very complex equation what it does to a person. Evidently, it makes you an old soul.
I think Old Souls are created, not born. I believe that circumstances, behaviors, and attitudes shape our overall being. For example, as a child, I communicated with adults far more than children my own age. I believe Baby Girl's old soul is the result of her anxiety. The Man Beast and I are both the oldest siblings of our families, each being considerably older than our brothers and sisters. Certainly this all attributes to something!

Regardless of how we came to be what we are, however, the result is the same. It is terribly lonely not being able to make any "real" connections with those around you. It causes others to perceive you as quiet, standoffish, shy (or worse), rude - none of which could be further from the truth.

To all the gamers out there, I can compare it to playing a role playing game (RPG) and having gone through all the levels before, despite it just being released to the public. Maybe it's because you've played a million games like it or maybe you're so familiar with the outline of how the game is played, you just know what to do. To your other gamer friends, you ruin all the surprises of the game - or you look like a show off. But in actuality, you're just tired of the game that everyone else seems to be so obsessed with.

And as I mentioned on Facebook, it can be terribly alienating.






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Staying together, no matter what

So The Man Beast rolls over to face me the other morning and says, "Do you know that otters hold hands when they sleep to keep from floating away?"

"Really?", I said, "How do you know?"

TMB shrugs. "I read it online, somewhere."

I did some research and TMB is indeed correct. Otters are some pretty cool creatures. Not only do they have the thickest fur of all mammals (1 million hairs per square inch compared to our 100,000 follicles on our whole head) but they are also the only other mammals beside primates to use tools. They will lie on their backs and beat a clam against a rock until it breaks open. Industrious little creatures, no?

I think it's amazing that they are wise enough to know that they need to "band together" while they sleep lest they float away and fall prey to other animals. 

After having this morning conversation with TMB, I have started thinking about my own relationship with my husband.

The Man Beast and I have been living like otters for the past 14 years. Every night,  I will wrap my foot around TMB's. I do not remember a time in our marriage that I have not done this. This is our way of connecting to one another regardless of anything that might be keeping us apart (fatigue, sickness, etc). It is our way of holding hands so that we don't float away.

Life gets hectic. If you're not careful, you will drift away from those you care about unless you consciously make the effort to connect. The connection doesn't have to be extravagant; it just has to be meaningful to you.

Until next time...

Dentist Appointment *Update*

This will be a two-part post. I usually don't do them, but I decided to try something new...and who knows - maybe it'll work. Stranger things have happened.

Baby Girl has a dentist appointment today at 10 (or is it 10:30). Maybe I should call and double check in an hour?

If you remember, she chipped her tooth two weekends ago. I just pray that it's not too late to fix the damage. I'd hate for her to go around with a chipped tooth. She just looks...I don't know...funky. Like a street urchin running amok on the streets. That's what she looks like. Or maybe I'm just hyper sensitive to the subject and being overly critical.

That's probably it.

So, here it is a little past 8 and the kids are still in bed. I figure I have another 30 minutes or so until I have to wake them up and get them functioning.

It's hard to believe that July is here...but I'm ready for school to start. The kids are constantly bored. Constantly. Still no word on the house, but if we're able to get it, I think it's going to be great. There is 6 acres for the kiddos to explore -- boredom should not be a problem. The pond, however, might be. You see, the Kiddos do not swim and I'd hate for there to be an accident. But all in all, the good outweigh the bad.

I'm running on empty this morning. The Man Beast brought home a cafe late from Ellianos last night so that I wouldn't crash on him after the kids went to sleep. Oh, I didn't crash alright. I was up until 2 am on a caffeine buzz!

I read the latest issue of All You! and when I got to the back, I did half of the crossword puzzle. I haven't done one of those in years. I'm not great at them, but it wasn't as hard as I remember them being. Maybe I'm getting smarter?

I'm not sure if this will send out twice once I update this post, so be sure to come back around noon or so for an update on Baby Girl.

That is, if I don't fall asleep first.

***Update***

Baby Girl got her teeth cleaned, got x-rays and got a fluoride treatment. Completely not what she was supposed to go in for. *sigh*

She goes back in two weeks to get the tooth fixed. Providing she cooperates. If not, she'll be referred to a pediatric dentist in Valdosta -- an hour away.

She better cooperate.

A Line is Drawn

The Man Beast calls me today on his cell to tell me that he won't be home until very late.

It's up to me to make dinner.

There's only one problem -- dinner is fried chicken.

Fried chicken is the Man Beast's domain, not mine. And it seems, the children know this.

When they asked when Man Beast was coming home (they usually just call him Dad) and I told them he was going to be late they asked me, "Who's gonna cook dinner?"



Who's going to cook dinner? "I'm going to cook dinner! I am Mom after all. What are my blog readers going to think when I tell them this", I asked them. "I'll tell you what they're going to think -- they are going to think that I never feed you. And they actually have proof!"

It's time I 'fess up to you all right now.

I cannot cook fried chicken. And potatoes. Of any kind. But I swear to you -- I do cook for the kiddos and the Man Beast. Obviously the Man Beast is well fed. His mama fed him well and when we got married 11 years ago, she entrusted his nourishment to me. I promise I do feed my family. I really, really do!

I make a moral decision and decide that the kiddos cannot possibly wait until 10 o'clock to eat. They never eat that late...well, this week at least. No, this is something I have got to do myself.

Well, I did it. Cooked to perfection. Or so I thought.

As The Boy was putting his plate in the sink he asked, "Did you season the chicken at all?"

Obviously, not enough...

The Smile

This smile makes my heart skip a beat. This smile can make all my stresses go away. This smile reminds me that after all is said and done, all really is right with my world.

This is the Man Beast. Isn't he handsome? Well, I suppose I'm somewhat biased. But even if I weren't, I'd still think he was incredibly handsome (and I'd probably be incredible jealous that he wasn't mine). But he is mine. And that smile. Oh how I love that smile.

This is this year's Father's Day picture. There are others. But this was the best. Because of that smile.

Did I mention the smile?

I just love the smile.