The theory behind This Side of Perfect

Do you look around my blog and think wonder where the title came from?

It's been through several name changes: Woman Within, Horizontal Yo-Yo, and finally, This Side of Perfect. I loved the name so much, I actually bought the domain name!

I think the tagline pretty much says it all, but it has come to my attention that some people might think the idea of highlighting when things aren't going right rather depressing. And maybe to some it is. But in the video (my first - be kind!), I explain what blogging means to me and why I chose to go this route rather than a buttoned-up and beautiful version of life outlined on the net via a blog.

Watch. Ponder. Comment.

Until next time,

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What can an iPhone do for you?

Testing. The question is: can you post a blog post from your iPhone using only voice chat? Well, let's find out, shall we?

The answer is yes you can! I'd like to thank my friend Paola for the little tidbit of information about the Blogger mobile app. This adds a whole dimension to blog posts!

Until next time...

What a difference a year makes...or not

Credit: freedigitalphotos

I love going back and rereading what I wrote. I find that when I first started my blog, my writing had a different vibe to it than it does now. In many ways, I feel it doesn't have the creative bend that it used to and I attribute much of this to the fact that I've been writing research papers for the past four years.

I went back and reread my first blog post of 2012 (you can read it here). Amazingly, not much has changed, while at the same time, everything has changed.

• TMB lost his job just a few days after Christmas last year. Luckily, a couple of weeks later, he was able to find a job. It is a job he enjoys and while the pay is less, so is the stress. In the grand scheme of things, less stress and having a job you like is what it is all about.
• I gave up my position with the school in May in order to complete my student teaching. I have and am now a college graduate! I've also been offered another para position at a local elementary school. While it is not a teaching position, I believe it will work out well because it allows me to study and earn further SPED certifications on my teaching certificate so that when it comes time to apply for a teaching position, I'll have more options available to me.
• The Boy and Baby Girl will be starting the second semester of high school and middle school. It's going rather well - better than I had hoped, actually.
• I feel that as I get older, I hold on more tightly to the relationships that matter most. I feel myself connecting to long, lost relationships that might not have been as strong as they should have been. The passing of two strong women has made me realize that life is short and it's the relationships that make it worth living - nothing more.

These past four months have been challenging. Actually, downright hard and nail-biting at times. I've had to rely on faith more than I ever remember relying on it in the past. But we survived and things are looking up.

And now for some resolutions, shall we? I challenge you to this one:

Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others.

Credit: freedigitalphotos

Until next time,


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Facebook Privacy Settings: A Basic How-To

We love to hate, don't we? Today is a classic rivalry football game between the Florida Gators and the Georgia Bulldogs. Not being a football fan myself, I really couldn't care less who wins or who loses, but that doesn't stop the friendly (and sometimes, not-so friendly) rivalry that exists between these two teams.

The same can be said for television shows. First, there was the vile hatred toward the Jersey Shore. But were people watching it? You betcha. Currently, there is a heated debate about the new TLC show, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Like most shows on TLC, it is a train wreck. Southerners (especially Georgia Southerners) complain that HCHBB gives Southerners a bad name. They argue that this show perpetuates the Southern stereotype of ignorance. But is this show being watched? Yes! Maybe they watch just so they can complain.

The point is, we like to complain. We like to gripe. But rarely, do "we" do anything about it.

Take Facebook for example. Many people have a love-hate relationship with the social media giant. Facebook is now traded publicly and oh boy did people have something to say about that! They argue (and rightly so) that they want their information kept private. But they also dog Zuckerberg for being an "evil" billionaire. The man is a marketing genius. You don't have to like him, but you can't argue his success. In my opinion, I believe his linking with other sites, is genius. If you go to a site the Huffington Post, CNN, or even other social media sites such as Flicr or Pinterest, you will have the option to sign up using your Facebook information. This is genius for two reasons: 1) it's a time saver and everyone wants to save time while wasting time surfing the net (it's true!) and 2) Facebook, for many, is a way to share everything they're doing elsewhere on the 'net. "Hey, look at this really cute picture of a cat I found on imagr! I need to share it on Facebook!"

The man - love him or hate him - is making social media work for him. Brilliant.

But, while I have to logically give props to the man for running his business successfully, I, too have hesitations about what I want shared all over the net and you should do. Sooo, this is just a very brief tutorial about privacy settings and sharing options that you can set for your own Facebook. While the old Zuckman is banking on you not adjusting your privacy settings for his own financial gain, there is a way to adjust them to your own liking. You just have to make the effort.

So, without further ado...

Lots of choices!

To manage privacy settings, simply go to your page and click on the drop down menu. From there, you will click on "Privacy Settings" and get this...

You can actually manage quite a lot if you take the time to do it!

Manage who want to see your posts/information

You really do have a lot of control. For example, my personal Facebook page is not public and I only allow friend requests from friends of friends. (It's probably a good time to point out that if you're worried about what people can see, you probably shouldn't have 1,000+ people on your friends list, half of whom you do not know, simply because you want people to play Facebook games with you. Just sayin').

You can get by with a little help from your friends. 

You can then manage which apps, games and websites "see" your information. (I found out recently that you have to read when accepting new apps (duh, right?). What I mean is that some apps go to your default setting (say, "friends"), while others go to their default settings (say, "public"). If you don't want that, you need to pay careful attention and make sure to change it. Common sense, but I think sometimes we get mouse happy and clickity, click, click our way through the web without reading much of anything.

You can also completely block apps and/or people. For those of you who loathe getting tons of game requests, this one is for you! Facebook makes a little challenging in that you have to physically type the game  into the field. I think, however, that if you go to game requests, there is a drop down menu to block game requests from that page as well.

Edit how individual apps "see" you

How about that timeline, eh? Love it? Hate it? I recently found this gem as I was taking screen shots for this blog post. In one fell swoop, you can convert old posts on your timeline to be "seen" by the people you choose. For example, I wanted my old posts be "friends only" - meaning, only friends could see it. One word of warning - the changes are permanent. You can't undo the action.

 When you delete a previously-used app from your account, you'll get a popup window similar to the picture below. Do you see that box at the very bottom that reads: "Delete all your Sweepstakes activity on Facebook"? Check this box to remove all of your information for that app from Facebook.

Easy peasy, right? Like any cleaning chore, it might take some time to get it "clean" but if you maintain it, it won't take long at all in the future.

I hope this helps some of you who are confused about some of Facebook's settings.

Next on the list - friends of friends seeing what you post when you tag friends in pictures. Hmmm...

Until next time,

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Lost and Found

Photo credit: Free Digital Photos

The kids have been back in school for two weeks and I've been utterly lost without them.

I've been bored. I've been emotional (for what I can only assume was Precious Preteen's going into 6th grade). While most women probably would have thoroughly enjoyed the two week hiatus from work, school, and kids - I did not.

I was just blah.

And then something wonderful happened.

I attended the first Girl Scout leader meeting of the year. Suddenly, I was a part of something again and I felt excited and alive. I had a purpose.

As I drove home on this emotional high, I realized that the blah-ness I've felt for the past two weeks had been depression.

It sounds a tad pathetic that I would wrap my entire reason for being around something as trivial as Girl Scouts. That fact that I tie up every ounce of who I am in The Man Beast and the kids is the antithesis to the "modern woman".

I was talking to a friend/co-worker/mentor about her recent retirement. She admitted that she missed working and she, too, was somewhat lost. As we walked around the local track, I let her talk. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that she was depressed. Retirement depression. Is there such a thing?

Turns out, yes. Because as much as we might complain about work or our constantly busy lives, we shape who we are around what we do. When we stop doing it (even if it's by our own choosing), we experience depression and grief with our suddenly open schedule, absent of rush-rush deadlines and appointments.

So, while I might not be the poster child for the modern feminist movement: the woman who has it all, does it all, and masters it all - I am completely normal in my feelings.

Everyone can experience depression from time to time. Luckily, mine was short-lived. School has resumed for our community and as of next week, Girl Scouts will also be in full-swing. Soon, the crazy busyness will consume my family. This is okay by me. I would sooner be busy doing what I love (being a wife, mother, and Girl Scout parent) than having an open schedule and being completely lost.

One day, the kids will be grown and gone. One day, I will retire from teaching. And one day, there is a chance that I will be lost again.

But that day is not today.

 
Depressed? Reach out. There are thousands of resources on the web. I'm not a doctor and you aren't either - if you feel you might be severely depressed, I urge you to seek out the help of your doctor.

Crazy or Lazy?

Note: © Copyright 2007 Greg Williams

Life has a way of sorting things out for you.

Since going back to school, I've had to delegate a lot of things in order to not lose my sanity.

Four years ago, The Boy was 10 and Precious Preteen (this is the name she gave herself, by the way) was 6. (Wow...allow me to pause on that fact for a moment. Four years ago, my babies were babies!)

Despite the fact that my children were, what I consider, young, they had to take on certain responsibilities.

Could I have done it all by myself? Absolutely. And a part of me wished that I could. But I couldn't and now looking back, I'm glad I didn't.

Stacey, over at I'm a Lazy Mom considers herself a lazy mom. Furthermore, she encourages other moms to be Lazy Moms as well.

Obviously, her suggestion is a tongue-in-cheek reference because a Lazy Mom is anything but lazy! I wrote about Stacey here.

Since this week seems to be a week of reflection for me, I've decided to reflect on the positives my circumstances have created in my children's lives:

• The Boy has (somewhat) mastered the art of doing dishes.
• Precious Preteen has joined him in the kitchen this year and together, they wash dinner dishes.
• The Boy has successfully learned how to do his own laundry. (Bonus: This week, he took initiative to do it without being told!)
• Precious Preteen is just starting to learn how to do her own laundry. (I will be posting ideas on how to make chores easier for the younger crowd).
• Despite being a somewhat fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type person, I have maintained somewhat of a routine for the kids. They have this routine memorized and are usually pretty autonomous on Saturdays (the official Chore Day).
• Except on Tuesdays, which are busy scout days, we have a set After School routine which the kids have pretty much adhered to after getting off the bus.
• Over the past four years, my children have matured incredibly well. Sure, this probably has a lot to do with time, but four years ago, I was doing a lot for them. The choice to go back to school forced me to allow them to do things on their own. My choice to go back to school has prevented me from being a helicopter parent.

So, while occasionally, I am wracked with Mommy Guilt, seeing the fruits of the kids' labors eases it a bit. Seeing sites like Stacey's helps me realize that allowing kids to do for themselves is a good thing. As a parent, sometimes it's hard - especially if one plays into the gender stereotypes. But despite this pull to do everything, doing everything does nothing for the child. It forces to the man-child/woman-child to learn on their feet when they enter the real world.

With so many obstacles facing us in life, why wouldn't we choose to give our kids this little leg up in responsibility? 

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Like an old friend

Summer reading: Picoult, Kingsbury, and Gulley

I'm scheduled to graduate with my Bachelors of Science in Elementary Education/Special Education in December. Did I mention that? I am amazed that a task that has taken four years to complete is almost over - and I'm in one piece!

Of course, I still have to get through 16 weeks of student teaching.

But I'm looking forward to it. I am eager to learn new things from teachers who know what they're doing. I'm excited about picking up some really good ideas in real life (verses Pinterest) and implementing them in my own classroom (God willing!).

For the past three years, I've been in survival mode as wife, mother, paraprofessional and full-time student. I've been spinning these plates, trying not to let any of them fall and break. With the amazing support from my family and co-workers, I've done well. But there have been a few things that I've had to put on the shelf.

Aside from this summer, I haven't been much of a reader these past four years (unless you could online journals and textbooks - I don't). I've never worked in the summer but I've never been one to pick up a book and read it, either - despite my absolute love of books.

When I dump myself into a project, I do it with unbridled gusto and reckless abandon - often at the expense of other interests. For the past four years, my passion has been school work. I couldn't stop being a wife, mother, and paraprofessional, so I kept those things going. As far as other interests were concerned, however, I just didn't think about them.

My second passion is writing. But since starting school, the only writing I do is in the form of weekly, academic papers. My creative streak has waned.

I saw a brief spark when I participated in National Novel Writing Month back in November 2008 and successfully wrote 50,000 words of drivel by the end of the month. Is it any good? No! In fact, it's horrible and there have only been two people on this planet who have read it and I wish with every fiber of my being that neither of them had. It's very rough and not the least bit ready for human eyes.

But it is written.

I've been meaning to pull it out and edit and revise it - not to mention add to it (50,000 words is more of a novella than a novel). But I never have.

And as my academic career slowly comes to an end, I find myself letting small sparks of interest into my heart. It began this summer as I read book after book. Perhaps this is why the itch to write has started coming back - reading and writing do go hand in hand, don't they? (I wonder if King reads? I wonder who he reads?)

I think it's time to get that spark back. I don't have to create masterpieces. In fact, it is of my opinion that my blog posts over the past couple of years have gotten increasingly worse - I wrote so much better before I started writing every week for school.

I think I might like to delve into the world of NaNoWriMo. I have a story brewing at the moment that cannot wait until November. But I think I might use the month of November to devote completely to writing.

In light of everything that has happened over the past year, personally, it is time to grab hold of a passion and protect it as fiercely as I protect my marriage and my relationship with the kids.

It is time to find a little bit of me - a part that doesn't have a title or expectations attached to it. Just me. 
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