Facebook Fast Update

It has been 24 days since I have stepped away from Facebook. How am I doing?

Pretty darned good!

I have discovered that I don't miss Facebook as much as I thought I would. I do miss the updates, though. At work, while walking down the halls, I'll hear teachers ask one another, "Did you see [fill in the blank] on Facebook?"

When they ask me, I have to tell them honestly, "Nope."

Since stepping away from Facebook, I've had to rely on getting my information the old fashioned way - word of mouth.

So, naturally, I am completely out of the loop.

This doesn't bother me as much as you might think, except when I go to church on Sunday and discover that someone is sick or someone has died and I don't know because I don't follow the news on Facebook. Then, I look a little insensitive when I ask what I've missed.

Overall, however, I'm doing okay without Facebook.

And for some reading this, you might be thinking, "What's the big deal? So you step away from Facebook for awhile. It's not that hard; just turn off your computer."

And to you I would say, "You are absolutely correct. It is as simple as that."

But I needed to do this to realign my priorities.

I guess I haven't stepped completely away from social media. I have browsed Instagram (it's quick and easy and virtually impossible to spend more than a few minutes on it a day when you just follow friends). And there have been times when I've shared on Facebook what I post to Instragram. But, if someone doesn't physically comment or like on Instagram, I don't see it.

So who knows all the goodies I'm missing out on. Facebook sends me an email every single day saying I have 35 messages and over 99 notifications. Friends and family have even tagged me (I get email notifications about that because I sensor anything that gets tagged on my page). But I have no clue what anyone has to say - good or bad. Someone could be blessing me out or encouraging me or congratulating me. I honestly have no clue.

Oddly enough, I'm okay about it all.

So, what I have been doing during these past three weeks:

• Catching up on some Bible reading: it's amazing the truths I've been able to uncover
• Keeping in touch with close family and friends via email and text
• Connecting with women from my church (although I would do this anyway, it's kind of nice to get information face-to-face rather than through a social media platform
• Running! Me, who swore she would never run. I'm training with The Boy using a Couch to 5K program. My school is hosting a Tiger Trot on March 8th. I will definitely be trotting (probably at a very slow pace, but I'll be there). Running is me bungee jumping out of my comfort zone. It's something I've never done and it goes hand-in-hand with my Bible study: Disciplines of a Godly Woman. What's more disciplined than training for a run (even if it is just 3 miles?)
• Losing weight! As of this morning, I am officially losing new weight. What I mean is that I weigh exactly what I weighed when I started working this August. What's more, I am only ten pounds from goal! I think that's pretty awesome, in and of itself. I've never reached this point before. It's taken me five years to get this far (let's say I've done a lot of do-overs!)

So, next Saturday, I can officially log into Facebook (did I mention Pinterest put me into protective mode? I've completely freaked out all of my social media sites!) Am I counting down? I can honestly say I am not. In fact, a friend who inspired me to do the fast (although she was doing it for 21 days) reminded me that she was able to go on today. By the way, she was completely unimpressed with what she saw.)

What now? Well, I can tell you that after "detoxing" from Facebook for a month, it'd be counter productive to go back to my old ways. It would be like me getting to my goal weight, only to resume the way of eating that got to me to my heaviest in my first place. (That was almost 200 lbs, by the way) Why would I do that?

However, when you give something up, you have to replace it with something (those quitting smoking chew gum - or eat; those wanting to lose weight substitute healthier snack options; those who want to stop drinking choose other activities). Why? Because if you don't have something to replace the behavior you want to stop/reduce/eliminate, it's going to come back (sometimes with a vengeance).

So what is my replacement activity?

Writing.

Looking back at old blog posts, some of them were pretty good. Others, particularly those I did while I was in school and writing research papers on a weekly basis, were pretty bad. But writing is an art that must be practiced. Back when my posts weren't too bad, I was writing more (journaling, mainly). Now - not so much. Furthermore, Facebook is getting all my wit, sarcasm, and "good stuff". No more. I'd rather put it into blogging.

Besides, I need something to wind down my days. Being productive is a whole lot better than being a bump on a log - wouldn't you agree?

Until next time...

First Grade in Finland: Every Day is a Half-Day - Taught by Finland

First Grade in Finland: Every Day is a Half-Day - Taught by Finland

 This is an interesting article comparing the typical school day of American first graders and first graders in Finland. The differences (and the author's justifications for those differences as he views them as an Ameican teacher teaching within the Finnish school system) are quite profound. 



Perhaps the United States *does* have it backwards. Perhaps less really is more?

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Music Video "He's Always Been Faithful To Me"

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Why I'm Choosing to Quit Facebook for 31 Days

Isaiah 55:2

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

2 Why waste your money on something that is not real food?
    Why should you work for something that does not really satisfy you?
Listen closely to me, and you will eat what is good.
    You will enjoy the food that satisfies your soul.

Some things that are good (or at least benign) for some people, are bad (or at least not the best choice) for others.

• Alcohol in moderation is fine for most, but not to an alcoholic
• Food is moderation is fine for most, but not to an overeater
• Social media is fine for most, but not for me

Romans 7:13

New King James Version (NKJV)

13 Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful.

About three months ago, I heard my pastor preach a message. To be honest, I don't even remember what it was about. What I do remember, however, was a small whisper. This whisper told me that Facebook was taking over my life. Not a day goes by that I do not check status updates, post pictures, read articles posted by others and post a few of my own.

As a whole, my Facebook experience isn't bad. I don't curse or start drama. I try to only post positive and uplifting things. I don't even get sucked into the political ramblings from my conservative and liberal friends! 

However, when I think, "This is really awesome! I need to post this on Facebook!", something has to give.

The time for me, is now.

Romans 12:2

Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

2 Don’t change yourselves to be like the people of this world, but let God change you inside with a new way of thinking. Then you will be able to understand and accept what God wants for you. You will be able to know what is good and pleasing to him and what is perfect.

I am doing it for spiritual reasons - I feel I need to spend more time in the Word. I also feel that a lot of what I've taken in when I read Facebook posts has altered my perception of life. Facebook, Pinterest, and even Instagram only gives us snapshots of people's lives - usually the good. The highlight reels, if you will. And when comparing someone else's really good moments to your okay moments has you wondering about your okay moments, it's time to step away for a spell.

I wanted to update everyone on what I was doing. Not to brag, but to make everyone aware. Even The Man Beast joked when I told him what I was doing, "Make sure to tell everyone what you're doing so they don't think you're dead!"

The next 31 days will likely be a challenge for me. I'll be starting my low-carb way of eating on January 1st and Facebook was my primary means of keeping everyone updated on my progress. Everyone's support helped me keep going when it got hard and frustrating.

But this is another point to my quitting Facebook for a month - I've completely lost touch with real friends. It's easier to have a conversation via Facebook (or text) than actually pick up the phone and talk with someone or agree to meet up and have a real face-to-face conversation. I know everyone on Facebook and many friends I see at least on a weekly basis, but I know more about them thanks to their status updates than what they've actually told me in person.

This makes me incredibly sad. The art of true conversation has been lost.

I want to rekindle it.

So, there you have it - my reasons for quitting Facebook. 

What will I do February 1st? I don't know yet. I'm going to enjoy this process and see where I am. I hope to learn a lot about myself during the next month as well as re-kindle real friendships that happen away from a computer screen. I also pray that God reveals a truth (or several) for me as I study the Word.

I'll see you in a month!

Until next time... 

Why I'm Thankful for a Little Turkey

Thanksgiving is just two, short days away and it will just be the four of us this year. I'm slightly bummed that schedules aren't working out quite like planned, but I'm thankful none the less. I have a turkey defrosting in my refrigerator and the Man Beast and I have a menu planned out, which we will begin preparing for tomorrow.

Every year, I reflect on how thankful I actually am for what my family and I have. Everyone does it, but I come from a different place that helps me appreciate my blessings so much more.

Several years ago, I wrote a three part series chronicling a very dark period, early on in my marriage.  You may read it in detail by clicking here, here, and here. Warning: It's raw, but every bit of it is true.), but I'll give you the highlights.

The Man Beast, The Boy and I were homeless.

Until you don't have a place to call your own (even if it's a rental), you really don't know that feeling of not having any place to go. It's a horrible, lost feeling. And it is one that feels as raw today as I write about it as it did 14 years ago when I experienced it.

 

This year has had it's own set of challenges, but even with the uncertainty of everything that my family is enduring this year, I can be thankful for the following:

 

- A roof over my head

- A steady income

- Food in my refrigerator

 

These are things that everyone is thankful for, but I can be thankful for the simple fact that there was a time that I didn't have any of these things.

 

As we enter the holiday season and you pass a Red Bucket, please take a few seconds to place a donation in. I am living proof that the Salvation Army does help those in need. I challenge you to put a donation in the bucket every time you pass a bell ringer. If everyone did this, even small donations add up.

 

 

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Two weeks down

As of yesterday, I have ten days of teaching under my belt, but it feels like I've been at the school much longer.I started my school year back in July for new hire training, then spent a week setting up my classroom and then had a week of pre-planning. So, in essence, I've been at school for a month.

My first week went by in a blur. I was learning about the littles - their likes, dislikes, and personalities. I would come home every day, ready to pass out (and many nights, did). However, while I'm in the building, I'm full of energy and ready to go! In the words of Gene Wilder, "I hope it lasts."


Still, working with littles (in any capacity) can be a little overstimulating. I think this somewhat phases out when you're working with middle and high school students, but working with elementary school students is definitely a hands on experience.

It is important to decompress/unwind/re-center in order to give your all to your students (and to your family) without losing your mind  while maintaining your mental health. There are many ways to do this - some healthy and some not-so-healthy. As I was going through my Friday, it dawned on me that the best way for me to re-center myself was to create a personal oasis in my home. Life throws some major curve balls; my home is my castle and the one place where I can really relax. (T-shirts and yoga pants, anyone?)

So, as soon as I got home Friday afternoon, I went to my bedroom and started de-cluttering. (It wasn't too bad, but there were a few things on my dresser that either needed to be hung up or put into the laundry hamper). Then, I went to the kitchen and cleaned off my long kitchen counter (an enevitable catch-all). Next, I went to the den/study and started cleaning off my desk.

"Are we expecting company and you forgot to tell me?" the Man Beast asked as he watched me sprint through the house.

"No," I tell him. "The visual clutter is just driving me crazy. Aren't you bothered by it?"

No answer.

Interesting conversation considering it is he who is usually de-cluttering the house when it gets to be too much for him. In our 17 year history together, I've usually been the one that isn't bothered so much by clutter. But as I get older, and perhaps in light of my new career, I find the need to cut down on clutter. I'm not really sure what's going on, but I do know it felt very relaxing to crawl into my bed last night and not have to look around at visual clutter.

 Control is a myth. I know this. We aren't really in control in anything (except our response to things we can't control).  Still, in the every day chaos that is an educator's life, a home oasis is pretty effective.

Until next time,
 

The Girl Scout Law: What it looks like in the grown up world

I have spent most of last week in training. During the last part of the week, I spent the majority of my time in a room with 70 other teachers, either new (like me!) or coming into the system. On Saturday, I spent the  my day in a Girl Scout training. In the afternoon, the highlight of my training was a conflict resolution class.


I was given a list of classes to choose from and I just thought this would fit me perfectly. After all, skills you learn at Girl Scouts never stay in Girl Scouts. I mean, that's the whole point of Girl Scouts!

Girl Scouting builds girls of courage, confidence, and character, who make the world a better place.

We don't expect our girls to take what they learn and hold on it, never to use it. No! We expect them to take it out into the world as they grow to be courageous and confident women of character. But, in order to do that, we have to model that behavior (Do you see what I did there? Just throwing some educational jargon into the mix for your reading pleasure :) ).

And as such, as adult leaders, we need to take the Girl Scout Law to heart.

I will do my best to be
honest and fair,
friendly and helpful,
considerate and caring,
courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,
and to
respect myself and others,
respect authority,
use resources wisely,
make the world a better place, and
be a sister to every Girl Scout.

And because I work with Junior girls who learned the promise and the law in kindergarten, I don't typically break it down for my girls (or myself). However, during this workshop, we did. In fact, we focused on this, specifically:

courageous and strong, and
responsible for what I say and do,

I can tell you, for those that don't know me in person, when I think of myself, the last thing I think are words like "courageous" and "strong". And in conversations? Forgetaboutit.

I am the peace keeper. The non-confrontational person. I will do anything I can to make sure that everyone is happy - often at the expense of my happiness. I've gotten better as I've gotten older and entered into the work place, but I still find myself wearing my heart on my sleeve and getting my feelings hurt, easily.

And why do I get my feelings hurt so easily? I didn't know exactly. But I do now. In a nutshell, I read too much into things. If someone snaps at me, they must be mad at me. I never stop to consider they why behind the behavior (I can do it in the classroom all day long - with adults? Not so much.) It's actually a quite selfish approach, but I think it is the knee-jerk reaction that most of us resort to (especially us women). Instead,

...we need to slow down so we can calm down.

Our thought process actually goes through a series of steps so quickly that we tend to jump to conclusions and react, either with sadness or anger and react or withdraw. They call this process The Ladder of Inference.

Photo: Julio Munoz

To put this in layman's terms:

1. Something happens
2. You choose what facts/happenings to see
3. You put meaning behind those facts/happenings based on your own experiences
4. You come to your own conclusions
5. Where you create your own personal truth
6. And you act accordingly

What I found extremely interesting was the workshop after "the workshop" where we all sat around relating personal Girl Scout stories. While listening to everyone share, it dawned on all of us that "background knowledge" (educational term alert) shaped how we saw and reacted to the world around us.

Of course after realizing it, it makes so much sense now. And good teachers realize that their students come from a lot of diverse backgrounds. They're kids. We get it and most of the time, we don't take their actions personally. But adults? I don't think many of us actually "walk" in another person's shoes; and certainly not in the middle of a conversation that is getting heated and is not very productive. (Have we all been there or am I just journaling my words, here?)

I can attempt to walk in another person's shoes until I have callouses on my feet. It is not going to change the fact that we're coming from different places. I can't think my way into another person's shoes. I can generalize but that may backfire. Instead, we need to talk to each other. About everything. Even the really hard stuff. (The facilitator said there is a tendency to sweep the hard talks under the rug which, in the end,  only furthers resentment and frustration. The courageous thing to do is confront it and talk about it.)

What does this look like?

1. In a conversation, a person says something to me in anger.
2. I bite back a scathing retort.  No! Take a deep breath and instead...(see: respect myself and others)
3. Restate what is said to you.
4. This puts the "ball" in the other person's court (see: responsible for what I say and do)
5. The person then has a chance to clarify what they meant (the hope here is to defuse the "heat" in the conversation and make it more productive)

Will this work all the time? No. There are difficult people in the world and there are just some people that, for whatever reason, you don't "mesh" well with. (Do you want to hear a secret? Most of the time, the things we don't like in other people, we don't like in ourselves. It's that whole mirror thing. Keep that in mind next time you think poisonous thoughts about someone.)

So, this Peace Keeper who tends to jump to conclusions (which remarkably, revolve almost entirely around me) has learned that she needs to slow down, not take things so personally, and genuinely converse with people. That includes doing more listening - real listening - and less talking.

Think about it...