Making it official: NaNoWriMo Participant Announcement {NaNoWriMo 2016}

I am making it official and just three short days from the official kick off of National Novel Writing Month (henceforth lovingly referred to as NaNoWriMo): I am participating this year!

For anyone not familiar with the project, NaNoWriMo is an opportunity for anyone crazy enough to attempt the goal of writing 50,000 words in a 30 day period, which roughly translates to 1,667 words per day. Sound easy enough, right? I suppose it is. Except that the month of November is one of the craziest and busiest months of the year, professionally AND personally.

But participate, I will.

If you're brave, watch my official video announcement.

This year will bring forth a number of challenges. Most of the participants write fiction or sci-fi. I will write fiction, based on life because this is what I have. I'm using this past year's heartaches to create a story. I think it's going to be a very loose sequel to Uncharted Dreams, my 2007 NaNoWriMo novel. (It's unpublished, please do not look for it. You won't find it. And if you DO find it, please tell me immediately.)

Aside from the emotional aspect of writing this year, I've also got the general busyness of life. This will be my first year participating as a lead teacher. It will be a challenge, but I want to get back to writing. As I mention in the above video, I'm giving myself permission to completely suck at writing next month. I'm putting away my inner editor and just writing. I don't have delusions of grandeur. I know that this piece will not get published. Not right now. Maybe not ever. But I'm giving myself permission to write it.

There are three ways that people approach writing 50,000 words during the month of November.

1. Planner - These people completely plan out their novel weeks (maybe months) in advanced and use pages of outlines write their novels.  Many authors have up to 60 pages of outlines detailing each and every event in their novels and write from that.

2. Panters - These people sit down at their computers and begin typing. I wrote my 2007 novel like this. It worked. As I was nearing 50,000 words, however, I felt like my novel needed to be finished, so I rushed the ending. I don't like the ending at all and I feel like my story could be and should be "fleshed out" more to include a stronger story with a stronger plot and stronger characters. Also, as I was writing it, I felt that it would be part of a series, following the main characters through many of their adventures through life as young adults.

3. Planters - These people are a mix of Planners and Pantsers - hence the name. They flesh out a basic understanding of their story, but let their characters determine the story. Pistol Packin' Annie wants to travel to the big city? Okay, let's do that.

I will be plantsing my novel this year. I have a basic idea of characters and plot, but really want to see where I "go" with it. I used a new strategy this year that was completely foreign to me in years past: deep character development. Not only have I fleshed out how my characters look, but I have their bad habits, overall mood and mannerisms as well as internal and external conflicts. This was a fun exercise to complete because it forced me to think about my characters. As such, I feel they are already stronger than my characters in my first NaNoWriMo novel. So, I see myself already improving in my craft.

But I'm not there yet and I'm totally okay with that. As I explain in my video, I want to use this year's NaNoWriMo to jump start my writing habit. The more I write, the better I will get. It's science.

So, there you have it. My official announcement. I'm looking forward to writing every day. I look forward to creating a new (healthy!) habit. I do not look forward to traveling back home and figuring out how to get my daily word counts in. This should make for good blog reading or video viewing...

Until next time, 

Healthy Outlets

Yesterday, I cried. 

I was on the brink of tears all day and managed to keep it together - because, you know, it's unprofessional to cry at work - right? My emotions didn't get the memo. A professional planning meeting and dropping the Littles off at PE were two such instances where I did not keep my emotions in check.

But yesterday, I did.


But I wasn't fooling anybody. I could never be in a position where I would have to lie (or not tell the whole truth) to protect a secret because, apparently, I wear my heart on my sleeve. At the very least, my eyes are an open window to my soul. They are a spiritual TMZ of the body. They know all. They tell all. All they don't care when it's appropriate.

So, even when I think I'm keeping it together; I'm really not. At least to those who have my figured out. And man! Do I hate that! On one hand, it's extremely comforting knowing that there are a select few on this planet that really understand how I work (and probably a little bit more than myself). This is comforting. However, it's extremely frustrating having these people in your space when you feel like you don't want to share what is going on in your head - either because you just don't want to share or because you don't know what's going on.

And yesterday was one such day. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't know what I was feeling exactly.

Magenta. That was me.


And I hid it well. Not really. But I managed.


Until I got home and TMB saw it all and asked those all-too-imposing questions that get the waterworks flowing.

What's wrong?

Everything. Nothing. I don't know.


And then I did. And then we talked. And then he said something extremely profound:

"You need to find a healthy outlet."

And I do. But what? What can I do that will relieve all the magenta feelings that well up inside of me, day after day?

And he's not the only person to say this. Several people who love me very much have said I need to find a healthy outlet. Recently, I was told that I give and give and give and if I don't take time for myself, all my giving is going to use me up. (It was a little bit more eloquent that that, but that was the general gist.)

I enjoy reading and now, since I'm on break, I feel almost certain that I can finish a book I started two weeks ago but haven't quite gotten through. I'm also pretty certain I can make it to the library before Thanksgiving to borrow the third book in the series (I love series, don't you?)

But the problem is, I don't feel refreshed when I read. If anything, it makes me feel more anxious - especially if a main character is going through something dramatic and I want to see him or her through to the very end.

My readers will understand that all readers go through this. It's just what we do.

But the problem is, it does not really renew anything. I can't even say it relaxes me. I do enjoy it and I will continue to enjoy it and will continue doing it (although not as much as I'd really hoped because I choose not to take time to read.) Still, that is not my healthy outlet.

Which brings me to writing.  Is writing my healthy outlet?

I believe that yes, it can be. I recently wrote a loved one an eight page letter, pouring out my love and support to them. (They will be receiving it soon, so I cannot reveal to whom the letter is addressed, lest they read my blog - and I really hope they do.) I remember having a great pen pal relationship with a friend in California. We would take a week or two to write to one another and we'd end up emailing pages and page of general chit chat to one another.

And I loved keeping in touch with my friend this way. I loved connecting with her trials and her joys. The "voice" in which we each wrote to one another was almost like we were talking face-to-face. I would laugh. I would cry. I used to devour those letters.

As I write this, I think I've discovered what my healthy outlet is. It is writing but more than that, it's connecting with people I love and cherish.

And it's the one thing that's really been missing in my life.

Once upon a time, I used to write. I wrote letters. I wrote stories. I wrote little anecdotes. Most of my writing was never read by anyone. And to be honest, putting some of my "stuffs" out in the open is very scary. I want to share but I'm afraid of what you will think about what I have to share. Will you like it? Will you agree with me? Will I insult you? Anger you? Will you reject me?

The People Pleaser in me shines through.

But despite it all, I still have that urge - that need - to connect with people. I'm not as eloquent live and in person as I tend to be on paper. Once upon a time, I was great on paper. I look back over past things I've written and I feel they were really well formulated. I feel I've lost that. No, "lost" is the wrong word. I've placed in the back burner - so much so that it's been collecting dust. It's still there. I just need to dust.

Ultimately, I feel the need to get my thoughts on paper (or screen). It's even more therapeutic when it's read and enjoyed by someone. Hence the letter writing.
 

I could be doing another type of writing. Every November, writers spend 30 days at their computers, at their desk or in coffee shops, pecking out 50,000-word documents for National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I competed one year. I finished a manuscript. I have been meaning to flesh it out (50,000 words hardly constitutes a novel). Yet, there it sits, printed out in six manila envelopes, unedited. 

 

I contemplated participating this year, but thought with everything going on, I probably shouldn't add something else to my plate. I even commented on Facebook that while I couldn't do it this year, as a 40th birthday present to myself, I'd do it next. 

 

I still want to do that. But this morning, while I was taking a shower, I thought of two sequels to the novella I wrote in 2007. And I just know if I don't put something down on paper (or screen), I'm going to completely lose the ideas. I already lost a flash drive that had several stories on it. I really should get some ideas down and save them in a place where they won't accidentally get lost. (I suspect there was a rip in one of my purses and when I donated the purse, I didn't check the hole. 

 

For all I know, the person who bought the purse doesn't know that the flash drive is in there. Wouldn't it be spectacular if the person, tiring of the purse, donated it to the same store she bought it from and then on whim, I went to the store, found the purse, bought the purse, and found my flash drive?)

 

What a story that would make!

 

Until next time,

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Like an old friend

Summer reading: Picoult, Kingsbury, and Gulley

I'm scheduled to graduate with my Bachelors of Science in Elementary Education/Special Education in December. Did I mention that? I am amazed that a task that has taken four years to complete is almost over - and I'm in one piece!

Of course, I still have to get through 16 weeks of student teaching.

But I'm looking forward to it. I am eager to learn new things from teachers who know what they're doing. I'm excited about picking up some really good ideas in real life (verses Pinterest) and implementing them in my own classroom (God willing!).

For the past three years, I've been in survival mode as wife, mother, paraprofessional and full-time student. I've been spinning these plates, trying not to let any of them fall and break. With the amazing support from my family and co-workers, I've done well. But there have been a few things that I've had to put on the shelf.

Aside from this summer, I haven't been much of a reader these past four years (unless you could online journals and textbooks - I don't). I've never worked in the summer but I've never been one to pick up a book and read it, either - despite my absolute love of books.

When I dump myself into a project, I do it with unbridled gusto and reckless abandon - often at the expense of other interests. For the past four years, my passion has been school work. I couldn't stop being a wife, mother, and paraprofessional, so I kept those things going. As far as other interests were concerned, however, I just didn't think about them.

My second passion is writing. But since starting school, the only writing I do is in the form of weekly, academic papers. My creative streak has waned.

I saw a brief spark when I participated in National Novel Writing Month back in November 2008 and successfully wrote 50,000 words of drivel by the end of the month. Is it any good? No! In fact, it's horrible and there have only been two people on this planet who have read it and I wish with every fiber of my being that neither of them had. It's very rough and not the least bit ready for human eyes.

But it is written.

I've been meaning to pull it out and edit and revise it - not to mention add to it (50,000 words is more of a novella than a novel). But I never have.

And as my academic career slowly comes to an end, I find myself letting small sparks of interest into my heart. It began this summer as I read book after book. Perhaps this is why the itch to write has started coming back - reading and writing do go hand in hand, don't they? (I wonder if King reads? I wonder who he reads?)

I think it's time to get that spark back. I don't have to create masterpieces. In fact, it is of my opinion that my blog posts over the past couple of years have gotten increasingly worse - I wrote so much better before I started writing every week for school.

I think I might like to delve into the world of NaNoWriMo. I have a story brewing at the moment that cannot wait until November. But I think I might use the month of November to devote completely to writing.

In light of everything that has happened over the past year, personally, it is time to grab hold of a passion and protect it as fiercely as I protect my marriage and my relationship with the kids.

It is time to find a little bit of me - a part that doesn't have a title or expectations attached to it. Just me. 
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Countdown to NaNoWriMo - 17 Days

It is that time again, boys and girls - NaNoWriMo - the self-imposed punishment instituted to all writers wishing to write a novel in a month. I did it last year (working part-time in the cafeteria in school), I hope to do it this year (working full time in the school).

Actually, it's not a punishment at all. It's a challenge. And this year, it promises to be a real challenge. Last year, it was a challenge. But I did it. My novel had to be at least 50,000 words to 'count'. Mine was 58K and some change.

But don't look for it on book stores anytime soon. It's still in six manila envelopes in my laptop bag-unedited. Well, it's been edited twice...but nothing major. In fact, I let a fellow writer read the first chapter and she suggested that it was in the very elementary stages. I had planned on it being geared towards women, but after thinking about it, I think it might be better geared to the young adult crowd. It needs work to be sure.

But the point is - I wrote it in 30 days. I stuck to something. I set a goal and I reached it. That's a big deal for me.

This year, however, is going to be really interesting. Work. Church. Man Beast. Kiddos. House. Cats.

Excuses.

I'm going to do it...and I'll be sure to check in with y'all regularly to share how I'm doing. To reach my goal, I need to write 6,700 words a day. That sounds like a lot, huh? Well, it is. But how do I explain it? When you get into a groove and lost in a story...it's really quite easy to lose yourself and write 6,700 words. Unfortunately, time is a constraint and while some college students and hard-core writers drop everything for the month of November, I cannot. Nor will I. I'll just do it.

And believe it or not, I'm looking forward to it. NaNoWriMo is an excuse - an excuse to write every day, no matter what. This is what it's all about for me. Writing. No excuses. Doing what I do best decently because I love doing it.

How cool is that?

Until next time...