Friday, May 11, 2007

My advice to women/mothers everywhere

I am one of those mothers who always puts herself last. If DH needs work clothes or shoes, he gets them. If the kids need new shoes or clothes, they get them. Meanwhile, I have bras that have seen better days and underpants that have elastic coming out of them.

In January, I joined Sparkpeople and rededicated my life...this time, to me. I figure (and rightly so) that I cannot continue taking care of everyone else when I'm not taking care of me. So, every day for at least 30 minutes (sometimes closer to an hour), I spend time taking care of me. I get my 30 minutes of cardio in six times a week. I do my strength training three times a week. Sometimes it's hard. But I have to make myself take this time and I have to tell the kids (specifically) that this is Mommy Time. I will be with them in an hour...but this is my time. (It's important to note that before I get comments telling me what a horrible mother I am, I do dedicate the next 23 hours to the kids and to husband, so taking an hour out for myself isn't that much). I didn't come by this decision lightly. Mother Guilt set in pretty hard for the first couple of months. Wife Guilt set in harder. (Hubby is at work from 8:30 in the morning until 8:30 at night some nights. The only way we communicate during the day is through various phone conversations during the day. For the first couple of month, hubby would get angry (frustrated?) when he would call me and I was working out.) Thankfully, after five month, the family is in Momma's Groove and DH will ask if I'm working out. If I am, he says he'll call me back. (I think the begining of my journey was hard for him...then he saw that 1) I was sticking to it and 2) I was getting results! Just between you and me, I think hubby *likes* the results!

So anyway...suffice it to say, I am not the kind of woman who does for herself very often (this weight loss journey has been the only thing until now).

Today, on a whim, I stopped at our local spa to see about getting a manicure. Now, I have to be clear here. This manicure was not for Mother's Day. It was a reward -- a non-food reward -- for losing 30 lbs!

I stopped in and found out that they had a deluxe manicure, but being that I had never gotten one before, I wasn't sure if I was going to like it. (Oh, I am so naive!) They had a mini manicure reserved for the under 10 crowd that was only $7 and she could see me immediately. I figured Why not? I was here anyway.

The manicure -- even it's mini version -- was wonderful! The spa was awesome. It was full of women who were spending a few moments pampering themselves. (As I was walking in, there was a nurse who had just gotten a pedicure walking out. If anyone deserves a pedicure, it's a nurse, wouldn't you say? Her toes looked so cute!) The nail tech asked me what I wanted and to be honest, I didn't know what to get. She suggest a French manicure. Again, I figured Why not?

Let me tell you why not: Hubby's wrath! Oiy!

I called hubby after I got it done, thinking he'd be proud of me for spending a few minutes on something that would benefit only me. Wrong! Instead he was angry (frustrated?) that he was married to a woman who wouldn't take any time for herself all year long and two days before Mother's Day, she decides she's going to!

Does his rant make sense to you? A typical hubby rant would be spending money on something frivolous, right? Not my hubby. My hubby was irked because I took something away that he could have done for me for Mother's Day.

Moral of the story: if you're going to do something for yourself (even if it's completely unrelated to Mother's Day) don't do it two days before Mother's Day.

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