Saturday, July 26, 2008

I'm the outline

I had commented on a friend's blog that sometimes I didn't even feel like a work in progress; I felt more like the outline before the work in progress.

Last night, (in retrospect), I see that I was in a very bad mood. I could excuse it all and say that I had caught The Man Beast's attitude but that wouldn't be fair. In truth, the Man Beast can have all the attitude he wants - it's my choice whether to 'catch' it or not; which in all honesty, I do quite frequently. I do believe I'm wounded soul. I suppose I would need therapy to figure it all out but therapy is too expensive, so I'll blog.

We had just left from looking at a prospective house to rent. I sensed that the Man Beast was less than thrilled with the house and it was confirmed when he said, "You have already fallen in love with the house, so it doesn't matter what I say." The truth of it was that the house is available now, it's in our price range, and I know we're not going to live there for ever. It's a house I can make due. It is not the perfect house and that's unfortunate. But it has all of the right prerequisites, so it's winner in my book.

He just felt mopey to me and I fed off that vibe. So, when the Boy and the Man Beast started arguing I told them, "I am not in the mood to play referee. Y'all need to just knock it off." Both of my guys just stared at me. Then the Boy comments from the back seat:

"All my friends say [future school] is fancy."

I start running my mouth giving a verbal dissertation on how it doesn't matter what school he goes to, he is who is he and he will thrive where ever he goes.

It's only after I'm done that the Man Beast turns to me and says, "My, we are crabby tonight, aren't we?" [insert my evil eye here] "The boy only made a comment about what his friends said about the school. You didn't even ask him what they meant. You just went off."

I tried to comment. Opening my mouth to respond, I'd quickly shut it again. I tried to defend myself. But I couldn't. The Man Beast was right.

Until next time...


  1. Ah..yes..I certaintly understand where your coming from. We are having the same issues here. Biting ones head off seems to be the "norm" here lately, however, I am not the one doing it or participating in it, as I have informed him (the hubby). I hope today goes better for you all. Blessings.

  2. "In truth, the Man Beast can have all the attitude he wants - it's my choice whether to 'catch' it or not; which in all honesty, I do quite frequently." Yep. It's SO EASY to excuse our actions and attitudes by saying, "So-and-So made me feel this way..." but we're the ones that choose it.

  3. EXACTLY! And we've been doing it since the beginning of time. In the Garden of Eden, Eve blamed the serpent and Adam blamed Eve. It's all about choices.

    And I just gotta learn to keep my big mouth shut! LOL


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